lately (07.09.17)

This post contains affiliate links, because I like money, but I s2g I wrote this post before adding the affiliate links and the monetization does not affect my opinions.

I realized after making my last substantial post (let’s talk about money, part iii: long-term financial goals and plans) that the only topic that’s taking up so much space in my brain that I need to capture it in words and let it loose on the internet is … money.

Which is all well and good ’cause, like, sometimes my head runs out of room and I need to put my extra thoughts somewhere, like a Pensieve, but also! It is important to remind myself that there is more to life than being afraid of not acquiring enough money to support my family.

For example, this SICK mashup of Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda” with The Phantom of the Opera:

This is up there with “Call Me A Hole” (“Call Me Maybe” x “Head Like A Hole” by Nine Inch Nails) as one of my favorite mashups of all time.

Hang on to your butts, ’cause this is a long one. Here are some other things I’ve been up to lately other than jamming to unlikely musical combinations:

  • starting and finishing Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice, which I’ve tried to read multiple times in the past without success. For some reason, this time around, it was fun and easy to read (and surprisingly funny).
  • listening to Lauv’s “I Like Me Better” and Dua Lipa’s “Lost In Your Light” (I LOVE HER VOICE) on repeat
  • literally crying over Carpool Harryoke when Harry sang “Hey Ya” and clutching my chest when he played the female lead in a romcom and screaming when he wore the heck out of both gold lamé and black fishnet shirts. Bless James Corden’s soul for these gifts:

  • reading The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart, which is a children’s book about gifted children who end up on a dangerous secret mission. So far, it’s adorable and wonderfully mature and un-condescending in a way that reminds me of Matilda
  • running! Only ever a mile at a time, but I can actually run a mile in under 15 minutes now, which is… a miracle?!
  • eating this entire pile of candy that Jess brought back from the UK in one sitting:

british candy - toffee treat kit kat - cookies and cream kit kat - cadbury crunchie bar - mcvities penguin biscuit - tunnocks caramel wafer - m&s teacakes - fortnum & mason tea

I haven’t actually had any of the tea yet, and I ate one of the M&S Tea Cakes before I managed to take these photos… But at least I’m putting that giant sheet of white foam I bought in May to good use!

british candy - toffee treat kit kat - cookies and cream kit kat - cadbury crunchie bar - mcvities penguin biscuit - tunnocks caramel wafer - m&s teacakes - fortnum & mason tea

…I’m not great at taking flatlays, but I’m #learning, etc. 

  • being pleased that my mom insisted on listening to the Harry Styles album in the living room just because she liked the album cover, and then being even more pleased when she decided that “his music sounds very mature for his age”
  • pranking my coworker Lewis by swapping out the inch or so left in his can of LaCroix for Corona… he knocked it back and only realized it was beer after he’d already downed it. 1000% worth it.
  • opening a no-penalty 11-month CD with Ally Bank for that sweet 1.5% interest on my emergency fund
  • watching Skam. I’m partway through S2 (Noora’s season) and as much as I love S1’s focus on Eva, I still cannot get over how fucking cool Noora Sætre is. I’ll quote my own diary here:

NOORA IN YELLOW I JUST LET OUT AN ACTUAL SOB. SUSPENDERS. THE HIGH NECKS. NOORA’S IN A YELLOW CROP TOP OH GOD I’M GOING TO DIE

Noora Sætre - Skam S2E1 - yellow turtleneck crop top with black suspenders

Yes… I am definitely dead now. But in case you aren’t, here are a couple more effing amazing outfits by Noora Sætre:

Noora Sætre - Skam S2E1 - white blouse outfit

My girl Noora in a simple white button-down shirt tucked into belted mom jeans, topped with a cocoon coat!!! WOW!!! AMAZING!!!

Noora Sætre - Skam S2E1 - white button down shirt with cocoon coat

MY GIRL!!!

Noora Sætre - Skam S2E1 - blue and white striped button down shirt

Noora in dark red lipstick and a stripey blue and white button-down buttoned to the neck!!! My buttoned-up, defensive, vulnerable girl!!!

Noora Sætre - Skam S2E1 - white boatneck top

MY GIRL NOORA SÆTRE GOING BRALESS IN A WHITE BOATNECK TOP!!! ARE YOU DEAD BECAUSE I AM!!!

NARS velvet matte lip pencil - cruella - red lipstick - anothertoast - samglorious

Above, NARS in Cruella + Revlon in Red Velvet. Below, ColourPop in Bossy.

colourpop lippie stix - bossy - red lipstick - anothertoast - samglorious

I considered editing my acne scars out of these photos, but, then I was like… brah… it’s just my face. The world will live.

  • finally finding a pair of mom jeans that fit correctly so I can properly dress like Noora. I’ve been wearing these mom jeans from Monki and they are great. (If you’re planning on buying these, I’d suggest going up a size from your usual. My waist is a 24, I usually wear a 26, and I bought a 27 in these jeans.)

monki kimomo mom jeans - uniqlo turtleneck - sam edelman monk strap oxfords - anothertoast - samglorious

LEFT – Lipstick: ColourPop Lippie Stix in Bossy. Gray Supima cotton turtleneck: Uniqlo. Oversized brown wool cardigan: Uniqlo (men’s). Belt: no idea. Mom jeans: Monki via ASOS. Double monk strap oxfords: Sam Edelman.

RIGHT – ColourPop Lippie Stix in Nevermind. Everything else: same as left.

  • finishing Hermione Granger’s Hogwarts Crammer for Delinquents on the Run by waspabi on AO3. Y’all, it is SO FUCKING GOOD. This is one of my favorite Harry Potter fics I have ever read, and that’s saying a lot considering how much fic I’ve read in my lifetime. Basically, Harry (who’s Desi) never got his Hogwarts letter, and Hermione (who’s Black) along with Ron, Ginny, Neville, Luna, and Draco, set out into the Muggle world to find him and tell him he’s a wizard so he might come join the war efforts. The best part of this is how Draco is so posh that this is how he behaves while undercover at a university:

“Thanks, mate,” Draco said, thumping Martin’s shoulder like he had just learned the traditional parting gesture of the university lad. He said ‘mate’ like it was a vocabulary word for which he would receive extra credit.

  • having some kind of sensory orgasm from opening a new tin of Rosebud Perfume Co.’s Minted Rose Lip Balm. I LOVE the minty rose scent and the light tingling sensation on my lips! (Actually, I’ve always loved mint-scented bath and body products. #tbt college when I would buy Avalon Organics body wash in Peppermint because it made me viscerally happy each time I used it. #depressionaesthetic #copingmechanisms)
  • wearing metallic bronze lipstick to work, as you do

colourpop ultra metallic lipstick - man eater - anothertoast - samglorious

Wow, my face is huge. I’m wearing ColourPop’s Ultra Metallic Lipstick in Man Eater, Innisfree Auto Eyebrow Pencil in No. 4 Ash Brown, and sunscreen with a white cast.

(To be completely honest, I felt so sick after the attack in Manchester at Ariana Grande’s concert that I spent the next several days listening to her music on repeat and wearing aggressively feminine clothes and makeup as a tiny form of resistance against 1) the fear that terrorism is intended to stoke and 2) the patriarchal system that says a sexual, confident woman is a dangerous woman. Wearing lipstick that makes me look like a bionic woman just felt right.)

homemade pizza from scratch - smitten kitchen recipe

I used this recipe.

  • catching up on three MONTHS’ worth of Talk Direction episodes
  • going fruit picking with Victoria & Aaron &co. and making a peach pie, a cherry pie, two apricot galettes, two cherry galettes, one peach galette, and one strawberry galette with our spoils (it was an extremely tiring endeavor)
  • burning the entire inside of my mouth eating blisteringly hot jalapeño poppers at Digger’s Diner, which is, like… a graveyard themed diner?!
  • trying and loving Lunapads period underwear. I own the MAIA Briefs, which are cut like granny panties and sooo comfortable. I wore mine on a light day, with a cloth liner insert, so I can’t vouch for how well it would hold up on a heavy flow day, but for my purposes, it was wonderful. (That day my flow was about the equivalent of maybe a half-full menstrual cup.) I didn’t feel sweaty or like I was sitting in my own menstrual fluids, and somehow I couldn’t really smell myself either, which isn’t even always true with disposable pads. I am definitely hoping to buy another pair at some point. (I think I prefer Lunapads over Dear Kate or Thinx because you can increase the absorbency of a given pair of underwear using the liner inserts… and I just like the company better. Trans-inclusive language for the win.)
  • getting my coworker George to finally sign up for commuter benefits!!! Our workplace offers a monthly stipend to spend on commuting costs, so now that he’s signed up, he should save something like $800+ a year in bus fare.

I left him a threatening note so he wouldn’t forget.

  • taking a short trip to San Luis Obispo with my partner and taking baths every night in our bed-and-breakfast’s claw-foot tub
  • reading “Turn” by Saras_Girl (a Harry Potter fic). Honestly, this fic has given me more inspiration and motivation than Danielle LaPorte’s Fire Starter Sessions, which I had to pay for, and which I’m currently 12% of the way through, and which has, so far, been mostly bullshit with, like, two pithy thoughts worth pondering. “Turn,” on the other hand, is available for free on AO3 (and ff.net, but pls this is not amateur hour), and it made me reflect on how 1) there is generosity in receiving, and 2) it is rarely too late to change. Like, am I happy with my life as it stands, or am I settling? Am I being honest about what I want? What actually makes me happy? What changes could I make to make my real life look more like my ideal life?
  • listening to Red and 1989 on repeat since TSwift is back on Spotify, and feeling extremely 22
  • wearing a lot of crop tops

sam wears crop tops - joggers - iridescent snakeskin print tevas - anothertoast - samglorious

In decreasing levels of dishevelment, from left to right. Black crop top: YesStyle. Green crop top: Forever21. Black joggers: Uniqlo. Iridescent snakeskin print sandals: Teva.

  • watching Wonder Woman and getting misty-eyed at all the Amazons training and just being humans who don’t have to be sexy for a male gaze, and shriveling up in delicious agony because Steve Trevor fumbling in the presence of an intimidating woman is right up my alley, and feeling very Only Mostly Straight [UPDATE: BI. FEELING VERY BI] as I was torn between pining after Chris Pine and needing to lie down because of Gal Gadot, and literally sobbing at the end because I TOO BELIEVE IN LOVE!!! It was almost a spiritual experience. 12/10 would watch again.
  • being embarrassingly smitten with my partner, who bought me this little angry Pusheen for my cubicle shelf:

cubicle decor - pink tentacat, angry pusheen, dancing groot, wild & free viking pin from bottleofclouds etsy - too cool for school dinoplatz lip balm

There’s my angry Pusheen, who, incidentally, stands in front of a variety of dessert-themed Pusheen stickers (which are no longer sticky, oops). Also pictured are my Tentacat (from my last office; I believe it’s this one), a pink Marimekko postcard c/o Mira, a wooden Wild & Free Viking brooch from bottleofclouds c/o my cousin, my dancing Groot figurine c/o Spenser, a tiny plastic whale, Too Cool For School Dinoplatz Lip Balm in #1 Spilled Wine and #3 Rabbit Food, Marchesa x Revlon nail clippers (honestly wtf), and some random hand cream.

cubicle decor - amethyst, palmistry hand, gold skull, quartz point, crystal tarot cards

The rest of my cubicle’s shelf is an assortment of faux-mystical objects including some crystals (I can only identify the amethyst, the quartz point, and the smoky quartz; I’m not even sure the other two are naturally-occurring crystals), a palm-reading hand (which was originally one of those terrifying hand finger puppets, which I painted with black nail polish and a gold paint pen to make it look like a palmistry chart), a golden skull (also originally terrifying, also painted over with gold), tarot cards from the Crystal Tarot deck, and a Nerf dart that Chambers drew a goat on.

  • feelin’ that anxieté
  • rage-wearing short-shorts to the office because I hate dress codes because they are sexist
  • acquiring tickets for Harry Styles’ 2018 concert!!! The more I listen to his album, the more I love it and appreciate it as a cohesive piece of art, tbh. Considering what a great performer Harry is, I’m sure it’s going to be amazing live. It’s not often that I like every song on an album, but I genuinely do like every song on Harry Styles.
  • convincing my partner to buy me a flower crown and then plopping it on his head instead

look it's my boyfriend in a flower crown

The flower crown may have been $1, but this picture is priceless.

anothertoast - another toast - samglorious - it's called fashion look it up - this is how you wear a flower crown right

am i wearing it right

liam payne wearing glasses and a suit

HAS HE EVER LOOKED THIS FINE BEFORE??? GOOD GOD.

liam payne in glasses and a suit

🔥🚨🆘🚨🔥

Welp, it’s become obvious that I should write lately posts more often so 1) I don’t have to omit things and 2) I don’t end up writing novel-length posts like this one, but I hope you’ve found something amusing or interesting or otherwise redeemable in this post. If not… well, there’s always this smiling dog.

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