lately (05.07.18)

This post contains affiliate links, because I like money, but I s2g I wrote this post before adding the affiliate links and the monetization does not affect my opinions.

Henlo, friends. I am very tired.

I’ve spent the past 2 months or so in a maelstrom of abject misery, what with trying to interview at like 15 different companies at the same time.

(In Silicon Valley, this generally implies that for each company, you’re spending 1 hour on a recruiter phone call, 1 hour on a live coding exercise, and if you get past those, sometimes 4-8 hours on a take-home project, sometimes 1 hour with each manager whose team you might be joining, and, almost invariably, 6 hours on an onsite interview (though I know of some companies that take up to 16 hours onsite, split over a couple of days).)

After everything, I ended up with exactly one (1) verbal job offer, which I turned down earlier this week, on the grounds that I’d prefer not to work at a company whose self-described engineering culture reeks of Nice Guys™ (a suspicion that was only magnified by their post-interview communications, during which I felt like they were trying to bribe and/or woo me with actual gifts).


It’s May. I’m still at the same job, but I’m making slightly more than I was a couple months ago, thanks to a cost-of-living raise that was 4 months overdue and that took my salary from embarrassingly low to acceptably low.

I’m licking my wounds and wallowing for a bit in my sadness bath and trying not to feel guilty as I concentrate on actually moving out of my childhood home and in with my boyfriend at the apartment I’ve been paying rent on for the past 2 months, instead of trying to interview more.

(I should be studying. I should always be studying(!!!), because I’ve been doing so poorly on my interviews, because I’m mediocre at my profession and I can only get better through practice. But my study strategy so far has consisted of doing practice problems until I have an anxiety attack (lol), and then mentally checking out until the actual interview via a diet of fanfiction, YA fiction, and online window shopping.

And I know you could easily argue that it’s a numbers game and everyone faces rejection sometimes and I haven’t been through that many interviews, but that doesn’t change the fact that I feel guilty for not being stoic enough to study harder. I just… My brain broke, so maybe I did do my best, and it just wasn’t very good.)

Anyway. This work stuff is all a bit boring, so here are some other things I’ve been up to over the past 2 months or so:

Read more…

lately (04.09.18)

This post contains affiliate links, because I like money, but I s2g I wrote this post before adding the affiliate links and the monetization does not affect my opinions.

It is Monday, my dudes, and I am

  • putting off washing my hair for yet another day
  • still fucking fuming over the CTO describing “being a speaker at a conference” as “being like the pretty girl at a party… people actually want to talk to you, and they have interesting things to say…” which… NO!!! If being a speaker at a conference were like being the pretty girl at a party, people would be approaching you because they want to FUCK YOU. This happened on Friday during an all-hands engineering meeting, and I basically blacked out after he said it because I was SO. UNBELIEVABLY. FULL OF RAGE.
  • reminding myself I don’t need another pair of Tevas despite how goddamn GOOD this pattern is

Teva Women's Original Universal Sandal Campo Black & White Stripe Straps Pattern

Teva Original Universal Sandal in Campo Black & White, $49.99 at DSW

  • trying to figure out how to dress around the newly-updated office dress code (a la r/MaliciousCompliance)
  • thinking really hard about cabinet/dresser knobs and pulls (mirrored! or gold mercury glass! or silver mercury glass! or mother of pearl! or lucite!)
  • wondering who the fuck removed me from the calendar invite for today’s mandatory company-wide all-hands meeting, which I was 35 minutes(!!!) late for because I wasn’t fucking invited to it
  • thinking about acquiring some hella extra candlesticks

H&M metal candlestick in gold - simple bowl shaped candle holder

Metal Candlestick in Gold, $12.99 at H&M

So simple! So elegant! And it comes in two heights! Which is unfortunate because I’d want to get one of each so I could stagger them for the #aesthetic!

H&M Gold Palm Tree Candle Holder - Candlestick

Palm Tree Candle Holder in Gold, $24.99 at H&M

This candlestick!!! Is goddamn!!! INCREDIBLE!!! But it’s also $24.99, which is an absurd amount of money to spend on a candlestick that wasn’t previously owned by an 18th-century noble.

  • trying to move all my money from Betterment to Vanguard
  • trying to figure out if I need a raise, a vacation, a new job, or a career change (jk I know neither a raise nor a vacation would help for more than a couple days, and tbh I’m starting to suspect that even a new job wouldn’t help for more than a couple weeks)
  • absolutely not buying this bath mat

ivory and black tiger shag bath mat - cost plus world market - black and white tiger stripe rug

Ivory And Black Tiger Shag Bath Mat, $16.99 at Cost Plus World Market

JUST KIDDING! I totally might buy this bath mat.

  • struggling with questions #27 and #28 on LeetCode and wanting to cry from frustration because lmao i fucking hate this!!!
  • reading YA novels (Blue Lily, Lily Blue) and rereading Drarry fanfiction (What We Pretend We Can’t See) in an attempt to right the sinking ship that is my brain before I fucking capsize because I can feel a breakdown coming!!!
  • blogging in an attempt to soothe the withered husk that is my creative spirit!!!

In short, S. O. fucking. S. Here’s to making it to the next paycheck. 🍻

things i’m convincing myself not to buy (01.14.18)

This post contains affiliate links, because I like money, but I s2g I wrote this post before adding the affiliate links and the monetization does not affect my opinions.

For some reason, I’ve been really into coveralls/jumpsuits lately (and not so lately). Here are two from Forever21 that I’ve been convincing myself not to buy for a week now, as part of my no-spend attempt:

Forever21 jumpsuit - plunging sleeveless wide leg cropped

Plunging Wide-Leg Jumpsuit, $19.90

Forever21 snap button jumpsuit coveralls

Snap-Button Jumpsuit, $48

I would totally wear both of these jumpsuits/coveralls layered with turtlenecks like on the models, probably with Tevas or sneakers instead of heels, for maximum insouciance.

But in the meantime… I’ve got a pair of mom jeans I need to break in.

Mathilda from Léon: The Professional Halloween Costume

This post contains affiliate links, because I like money, but I s2g I wrote this post before adding the affiliate links and the monetization does not affect my opinions.

Leon and Mathilda from Leon: The Professional Halloween couples' costume

Two Halloweens ago, my longtime #goals to dress as Mathilda from Luc Besson’s 1994 film Léon: The Professional finally came to fruition, after much daydreaming and last-minute scrambling. I had trouble finding good resources online for how to put together a Mathilda costume, so I decided to write a blog post about how I did it, so that you, too, can dress like a little girl assassin.

Two notes in advance:

  1. Instead of faithfully reproducing specific outfits à la cosplaying, I decided to pull together iconic elements of the character’s looks, for maximum recognizability.
  2. All screencaps are from

Without further ado…

Here’s what you’ll need to dress as Mathilda, as played by Natalie Portman in Léon: The Professional:

Leon: The Professional - Natalie Portman - Mathilda - Halloween costume cheat sheet how-to DIY -

»» — — — ¤ — — — ««

Halloween Costume Cheat Sheet:



»» — — — ¤ — — — ««


  • a black lace-up top OR a striped crop top OR a black scoop neck top
  • a black or light blue denim miniskirt or short shorts
  • an oversized army green bomber jacket
  • off-white socks you can scrunch down
  • black or brown flat booties


  • a red beanie
  • round-frame sunglasses
  • a black velvet choker with a silver sun charm
  • a potted plant
  • a brown paper bag


  • a super short dark brown bob with stringy bangs
  • contouring/highlighting eyeshadow (and/or other skin makeup)

»» — — — ¤ — — — ««

Basically we’re going for a mix of these two iconic outfits:

Leon: The Professional (1994) dir. Luc Besson - Natalie Portman - Mathilda - Halloween costume - striped top, choker

Leon: The Professional (1994) dir. Luc Besson - Natalie Portman - Mathilda - Halloween costume - green bomber jacket, red beanie

We’re gonna be taking the top outfit and layering on the appropriate accessories and outerwear from the bottom outfit for an iconic Mathilda Looque™.

Now for a detailed breakdown!

Let’s start with Mathilda’s clothing.


fantasy shopping league: helloharriet’s furbaby cards & accessories

This post contains affiliate links, because I like money, but I s2g I wrote this post before adding the affiliate links and the monetization does not affect my opinions.

I recently discovered the UK-based Etsy shop Hello Harriet through Little Alien, and now, more than ever, I wish I had a doggo to call my own, so I could tell my G O O D B O Y E that he’s a 1st rate floofer:

helloharriet etsy first rate floofer doge pet collar id tag dog cat

1st Rate Floofer pet collar charm by Hello Harriet, $17.55 on Etsy


But until I’m ready for a fluff of my own, maybe I can convince Augustus to convince Lulu (short for Lucifer, full name Lucifer Muffinbutz) to wear a collar even though she’s an indoor cat, since this is pretty much her attitude all day every day unless there are bonito flakes involved:

helloharriet etsy NOPE cat collar id tag charm pendant

Nope pet collar charm by Hello Harriet, $14.85 on Etsy

But if we can’t get the Muffalo on board with this new sartorial direction, I’d be content just enjoying the awkward silence of making eye contact with someone on public transportation as they look up to see who’s carrying this gloriously discomfiting tote bag:

helloharriet etsy cat tote bag awkward silence antisocial funny

Awkward Silence cat tote bag by Hello Harriet, $17.55 on Etsy

Or making up excuses to give people these heckin good greeting cards:

helloharriet etsy doge birthday greeting card meme shibe wow

Doge meme birthday card by Hello Harriet, $4.05 on Etsy

He has a heart on his head because he loves you.

helloharriet etsy new baby shower arrival card congratulations puppy kitten

Congratulations On Your Smol Arrival card by Hello Harriet, $4.05 on Etsy


helloharriet etsy funny send nudes cat greeting card

Send Nudes cat greeting card by Hello Harriet, $4.05 on Etsy

Keepin’ it classy.

helloharriet etsy anniversary card would marry again dogrates

12/10 Would Marry Again anniversary card by Hello Harriet, $4.05 on Etsy

If the love doesn’t feel like @dog_rates completely ignoring conventional scoring systems for every single dog in existence, I don’t want it.


my current skincare routine (am & pm)

This post contains affiliate links, because I like money, but I s2g I wrote this post before adding the affiliate links and the monetization does not affect my opinions.

Preamble Ramble

Sometime in the past couple of weeks, I stopped wearing base makeup to work. Pics, ’cause it did happen: - samglorious - no makeup no filter selfies - skincare

Yeah, the lighting in my bathroom is crappy, and okay, sure, the upper right hand picture is from the inside of a car when I was on my way to visit my uncle in the ER, not on the way to work, but the fact still stands: my skin’s been looking good enough that I’ve been skipping my base makeup.


what to wear to a harry styles concert

Original image of Harry wearing a baby blue velvet women’s suit(!!!) via The Daily Styles.

I need to shower and sleep so I can actually function at work tomorrow, but Harry Styles is hosting The Late Late Show this week and I am simultaneously ALIVE and DYING!!! (Aren’t we all.) I mean just LOOK AT THAT GREEN VELVET AND HIS DREAM BOY HAIR AND DAD JOKES DELIVERED AT THE SPEED OF MOLASSES!!!

I mean, really, Louis said it best. Always in my heart, @Harry_Styles . Yours sincerely, Sam

I refuse to watch the rest of the clips because I know I’ll never go to bed, like that time I watched One Direction’s very first SNL performance and ended up on YouTube at 3AM watching them all trying to fit on one couch while talking over each other and generally being the worst interviewees ever, and I am not gonna let that happen to me this time!!!! (At least until the weekend, anyway.)

Back to the point of this post.

I was window shopping at Forever21 and came across these two glorious floral(-ish) patterned button-up shirts that reminded me of Harry’s $1500 dad shirts that he leaves unbuttoned down to his fourth nipple:

Leaf Print Shirt (white), $15.90 at Forever21. Floral Print Shirt (red), $15.90 at Forever21.

I don’t have four nipples, but I’m considering purchasing one of them to wear, maybe with some black skinny jeans and Chelsea boots, when I attend Harry’s solo(!!!) concert later this year, because I mean… these are $15.90, not $1500, and Harry Styles’ looks are iconic.

I am 100% sure that I’ll find more Harry-esque things while online window shopping, so watch this space.