lately (03.31.20)

This post contains affiliate links, because I like money, but I s2g I wrote this post before adding the affiliate links and the monetization does not affect my opinions.

anothertoast - samglorious - quarantine selfie

our bathroom is kinda gross, and so am i!

SOOO. Shortly after my last update, San Francisco issued a shelter-in-place order, closely followed by California issuing a stay-at-home order. I am so, so relieved that I was able to convince my mom to take one more sick day and avoid going into work, because the shelter-in-place order came literally hours later, so it would’ve been pointless exposure to other people if she’d gone in anyway.

(My uncle is still going into work, as he’s considered an essential worker. He takes public transportation and lives in the same house as my mom, so we’re still pretty worried he could get sick (and subsequently, so could my mom), but there doesn’t seem to be much to be done about it other than being as careful as possible.)

I am not an epidemiologist, but I have vague, wild hopes that because the Bay Area has so many tech workers (almost 30% of all private sector workers, according to Wikipedia), and because so many tech companies encouraged WFH pretty early in March, with most mandating it by mid-March – I have the vague, wild hope that regionally, at least, we might’ve slowed the spread enough (by taking so many people aka disease vectors out of their typical travel + interaction paths) to buy our healthcare workers more time. More time for PPE to be produced and distributed, more time for ventilators to be produced or refurbished, more time for hotel rooms to be requisitioned as quarantine facilities, more time for people to realize how seriously we need to take this.

I’m probably wrong. But I hope I’m right.

This post is basically gonna be a wall of text given the fact that I’ve been sheltering in place, but since my last update I…

…left the house a handful of times for 1) paranoia-inducing walks around the block (followed by religious hand-washing and surface-disinfecting), and 2) starting the car engine, once, just to let it run for a couple minutes. Sunlight is great! So is fresh air! I’ve completely given up on sunscreen! A whole new world!

…made one last trip to the grocery store before settling in at home for a couple weeks. It’s been 2 weeks since my last update, and I’m hoping we can hold out for a few more days before another trip to the grocery store. We can survive on what we have in the pantry, but it’s getting kinda depressing.

On our last trip, a lot of things were sold out, so I’m just going to give my late-February self a pat on the back for preemptively buying a carton of eggs on every grocery trip (though it seemed ridiculous at the time), and for freezing an extra loaf of sliced bread. We’re down to a couple butt pieces now, and I (like everyone else) am contemplating… a sourdough starter. I’m not sure how long our flour will last us, though, between baking and feeding the starter. (I’d considered buying extra flour and sugar and yeast in early March but then decided I was overreacting. I was a FOOL.)

Read more…

lately (03.15.20)

This post contains affiliate links, because I like money, but I s2g I wrote this post before adding the affiliate links and the monetization does not affect my opinions.

Henlo, friends.

San Francisco had its first 2 confirmed cases of coronavirus a few days into March, both from community spread, and we’re up to 37 cases as of this morning (up from 28 yesterday).

I think most of the city has hunkered down for a long stay at home by now. The coronavirus is very much here, and while I continue to worry for the rest of the state (and the country, and the world), I feel pretty relieved by the measures my own city has taken to make sure we take care of each other.

(Some of those measures: Events and gatherings have been shut down or restricted, schools have been closed, school breakfasts and lunches are being made available for pickup, libraries and rec centers have been converted to emergency childcare centers for kids of healthcare workers and kids from low-income families, the citywide sick leave policy has been expanded, and utility shutdowns have been prohibited. It’s all disruptive, but it feels hopeful that we’re taking this seriously, in a very community-focused way.)

It feels weird that this thing I’ve been low-key panicking about since January is now a thing that most people around me are panicking about, but at this point I don’t care how many of them were mocking people like me for “overreacting” about things “unlikely to happen.” Sure, I still wanna yell at them for only believing what’s up after it affected a fuckin NBA player, but however people get here – I’m glad they’re here. We all need to work together to protect each other. As someone on Twitter said, “This is a group exercise, and we pass or fail together.”

My partner’s WFH indefinitely, and I couldn’t have picked a better person to be holed up with. I’ve been feeling extra grateful for him and my family lately.

So as you can imagine, things have been pretty quiet, but since my last update I…

…started joining NCT group orders because there aren’t enough EXO group orders to stress-join right now. So far I’ve joined GOs for an NCT 127 varsity jacket (which is absolutely sick; the back is embroidered with a massive dragon head), Mark Lee stickers and washi tape, a whole bunch of Neo Zone stickers, and some stickers of the other NCT boys.

…joined a couple more EXO GOs, including orders for a bucket hat (never thought I’d ever be swayed into buying a bucket hat, but… slap a fandom logo on it and I’m sold, I guess), beaded bracelets, and phone cases.

…bought a couple things from the official NCT 127 website: a physical Neo Zone album (the yellow/N version) and a “Kick It” sweatshirt. The sweatshirt design features the Chinese characters for “hero,” since the Korean title for “Kick It” is “Hero.” Feels kinda empowering to want giant Chinese characters on my clothes instead of being ashamed that I’ll never be white enough to be likable, ya know?

…lit a lot of candles. I’ve mostly been burning Frostbeard Studio’s Christmas at the Burrow (which smells like Christmas baking) and Bath & Body Works’ 3-wick Mango Mai Tai (which smells like tropical fruit with a little too much sugar), but I also recently acquired 3-wicks of Fiji White Sands (as mentioned by Baekhyun during an Instagram Live; it smells the way lying on a hot beach reading a steamy fic feels), White Tea & Sage (leans a little too floral for me, but it’s nice and clean, like something you’d smell in a yoga studio’s bathroom), and Paris Café (smells rich and deliciously coffee bean-y, with a touch of sweetness). I know it’s not great for indoor air quality to burn a lot of candles, but it’s hella hygge and I’ve needed a lot of soothing lately.

bath and body works 3 wick candles - mango mai tai - fiji white sands - white tea & sage - paris cafe

I’m particularly fond of the White Tea & Sage container. The concrete is just very satisfying.

Read more…

lately (02.29.20)

This post contains affiliate links, because I like money, but I s2g I wrote this post before adding the affiliate links and the monetization does not affect my opinions.

HENLO. I am trying to crawl into bed within the next hour and a half, so I’m cutting this intro short. Since my last update post, I…

…received a SICK whiskey (er… whisky) bottle from Spenser, from the Nikka distillery in Japan, with a SICK-ASS SAMURAI DESIGN. Look at it!!!

nikka whiskey samurai bottle

LOOK AT HIM!!!

…finally watched Parasite and couldn’t stop thinking about it for, like, a week. I don’t know if this description makes sense to anyone but myself, but it was… symphonic? Watching it felt listening to a symphony, with every moment important and satisfying and tantalizing, whether it was sparse (in terms of visuals or dialogue or symbolism) or rich and layered. Also, this is extremely beside the point, but Park So-dam is SUPER pretty, and Choi Woo-shik… is Hot. Not with this Ki-woo/Kevin haircut, but, like. It’s there.

…watched Train to Busan, which Choi Woo-shik also happens to be in. (To reiterate: He’s hot.) It was thoughtful and thrilling and really entertaining, and I loved it. If you’re wary of zombie movies because they fall under the general category of horror (as I was), don’t worry; this one gets a little gross at times, but it’s not particularly nightmare-inducing.

…rewatched Pan’s Labyrinth for the first time since probably 2011. It’s definitely still one of my favorite movies of all time, and I definitely still want Ofelia’s green dress.

…watched To All the Boys: P.S. I Still Love You, which was just alright. I’m not a huge fan of love triangles (or, uh, love wishbones?), and it was pretty much what I’d expected based on the book. On the one hand, it’s true that early relationships are messy and laden with insecurity and somebody always gets hurt, but on the other hand I was at least expecting Lara Jean’s outfits to be as cute as the first movie. They were not (they were… fine), and I was very disappointed.

Read more…

lately (08.16.18)

This post contains affiliate links, because I like money, but I s2g I wrote this post before adding the affiliate links and the monetization does not affect my opinions.

Here’s what I’ve been up to over the past couple weeks:

  • crying, a lot, in a variety of settings including but not limited to
    • the shower (while listlessly soaping my body)
    • the kitchen (while reheating soup, while emptying the dishwasher)
    • the couch (before dinner, during dinner, after dinner)
    • my bed (before sleeping, upon waking)
    • my boyfriend’s bed (see: my bed)
    • the car (on the way to get groceries, on the way to breakfast)
    • my Bedroom Floor (Liam Payne™ No Copyright Infringement Intended)
  • not bathing or grooming or sleeping enough
  • reading

Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman - The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt - Circe by Madeline Miller

Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman (Amazon | Goodreads) – Lovely! A surprise! A little life with a big heart!

The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt (Amazon | Goodreads) – Delicious, excruciating, and just nihilistic enough for my taste. Every scene with Boris made me want to crawl out of my skin in a good way.

Circe by Madeline Miller (Amazon | Goodreads) – In progress. Achingly gorgeous prose, as expected from the author of The Song of Achilles.

Pivot: The Only Move That Matters is Your Next One by Jenny Blake - So Good They Can't Ignore You by Cal Newport

Pivot: The Only Move That Matters is Your Next One by Jenny Blake (Amazon | Goodreads) – Generally helpful career advice, but could’ve been shortened to a blog post or a series of blog posts, IMO. Includes the phrases “monthly nut” and “yearly nut.”

So Good They Can’t Ignore You by Cal Newport (Amazon | Goodreads) – In progress. So far it seems a lot less bullshitty than many other career books I’ve read.

  • reading “The Changeling” by Annerb, the first non-slash fic I’ve read in a long, long time. This one is Harry/Ginny, with the premise being that Ginny was actually sorted into Slytherin. I’m on Chapter 4 and am loving it so far.
  • watching

Winter's Bone - Mamma Mia! - Loving Vincent

Winter’s Bone (Amazon | IMDb) – Jennifer Lawrence is very, very good in this, and it’s obvious why she was cast as Katniss in Hunger Games, though they really should’ve picked someone less white for that role. At least she was appropriately white af in this movie.

Mamma Mia! (Amazon | IMDb) – PURE. JOY. Amanda Seyfried is beautiful, Meryl Streep is BEAUTIFUL, Pierce Brosnan is a dreamboat, and Colin Firth is A GODDAMN DREAM.

Loving Vincent (Amazon | IMDb) – Worth watching for the artwork alone – it is absolutely gorgeous. This film was obviously made with a lot of love, and it shows.

Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark - Dirty Dancing

Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark (Amazon | IMDb) – I had no idea how attractive I would find Harrison Ford in professorly tweeds and glasses, but I definitely knew how attractive I would find Harrison Ford glistening with sweat, shirt unbuttoned down to his bellybutton, destroying priceless archaeological artifacts. I hate that they put a white dude in monolid prosthetics though! I know it was for a stunt scene, but the yellowface was so jarring!!!

Dirty Dancing (Amazon | IMDb) – SO FUCKING GOOD?! I can’t believe I put off watching this for so long. It is a masterpiece. Patrick Swayze in high-waisted trousers is a masterpiece! “I carried a watermelon” is ICONIC!!!

(Here’s Harrison Ford in tweed and glasses, because:

indiana jones and the raiders of the lost ark - screencap - harrison ford - professor glasses tweed vest 3 piece suit

This is very sexy.

And here’s the yellowface, featuring really crappy single eyelid prosthetics:

indiana jones and the raiders of the lost ark - asian monolid eyelid prosthetics yellowface

This, on the other hand, is not very sexy at all.

(screencaps from movie-screencaps.com)

I can’t wait to see Crazy Rich Asians this weekend so I don’t have to look at a single fake Asian for a whole two hours. I know it’s going to be an imperfect movie because it’s based on an imperfect book, but frankly I’m not going to wait for a perfect movie before I start supporting American movies with many Asian actors.)

  • going to Niall’s concert at Shoreline Amphitheatre in Mountain View and being SO PROUD and SO FULL OF HORNS, because Niall is SO SO SO good live, especially at outdoor venues!

niall horan flicker world tour - shoreline amphitheatre mountain view - marquee

(This is not my video, but something about THOSE JEANS and THAT SHIRT and THIS SONG is what makes Niall Horan the sexiest Direction.)

niall horan flicker world tour - shoreline amphitheatre mountain view - samglorious - anothertoast - featuring a cardboard cutout of nialls head for wild 949

One day I hope to be famous enough that local radio stations have giant cardboard cutouts of my face to pose with. Not pictured: My cousin and I screaming the lyrics to “Better Than Words,” which was playing right before this photo was taken.

(Scrunchie: Forever21. Extra cropped crop top: Forever21. Black mom jeans: Monki via ASOS. Belt: childhood. Shoes: Converse. Backpack you can’t even see: Etsy shop you can’t even view because it’s no longer operating; gift.)

niall horan flicker world tour - shoreline amphitheatre mountain view - christian tierney - photo of crowd

I’m somewhere in this picture! I still don’t know where, but I’m definitely somewhere!!!

(Photo by Christian Tierney, via NJHNews)

  • wearing a lot of scarves in my hair

samglorious - anothertoast - scarf topknot hair

(Blue scarf: Innisfree gift with purchase (lol). Brown scarf: Esprit sample sale. Wild & Free Viking pin: bottleofclouds on Etsy, gift. Love Is A Many Gendered Thing pin: Abprallen on Etsy.)

  • watching Les Misérables at the Orpheum and crying as if on cue at “to love another person is to see the face of god” because it’s fuckin TRUE and it always makes me emosh

  • running lots of budget calculations
  • opening a new credit card
  • making all the appointments!!!
  • working on a long blog post 👀
  • looking up “how to write a glassdoor review without inciting a defamation lawsuit”

glassdoor how to avoid defamation lawsuit negative review - chicken butt

A list of things that have not been legal grounds for a defamation lawsuit, from Glassdoor’s very own article.

And on that note!!! Have a great weekend, pals.

lately (05.07.18)

This post contains affiliate links, because I like money, but I s2g I wrote this post before adding the affiliate links and the monetization does not affect my opinions.

Henlo, friends. I am very tired.

I’ve spent the past 2 months or so in a maelstrom of abject misery, what with trying to interview at like 15 different companies at the same time.

(In Silicon Valley, this generally implies that for each company, you’re spending 1 hour on a recruiter phone call, 1 hour on a live coding exercise, and if you get past those, sometimes 4-8 hours on a take-home project, sometimes 1 hour with each manager whose team you might be joining, and, almost invariably, 6 hours on an onsite interview (though I know of some companies that take up to 16 hours onsite, split over a couple of days).)

After everything, I ended up with exactly one (1) verbal job offer, which I turned down earlier this week, on the grounds that I’d prefer not to work at a company whose self-described engineering culture reeks of Nice Guys™ (a suspicion that was only magnified by their post-interview communications, during which I felt like they were trying to bribe and/or woo me with actual gifts).

So.

It’s May. I’m still at the same job, but I’m making slightly more than I was a couple months ago, thanks to a cost-of-living raise that was 4 months overdue and that took my salary from embarrassingly low to acceptably low.

I’m licking my wounds and wallowing for a bit in my sadness bath and trying not to feel guilty as I concentrate on actually moving out of my childhood home and in with my boyfriend at the apartment I’ve been paying rent on for the past 2 months, instead of trying to interview more.

(I should be studying. I should always be studying(!!!), because I’ve been doing so poorly on my interviews, because I’m mediocre at my profession and I can only get better through practice. But my study strategy so far has consisted of doing practice problems until I have an anxiety attack (lol), and then mentally checking out until the actual interview via a diet of fanfiction, YA fiction, and online window shopping.

And I know you could easily argue that it’s a numbers game and everyone faces rejection sometimes and I haven’t been through that many interviews, but that doesn’t change the fact that I feel guilty for not being stoic enough to study harder. I just… My brain broke, so maybe I did do my best, and it just wasn’t very good.)

Anyway. This work stuff is all a bit boring, so here are some other things I’ve been up to over the past 2 months or so:

Read more…

inaction

This post contains affiliate links, because I like money, but I s2g I wrote this post before adding the affiliate links and the monetization does not affect my opinions.

Hello bubs. I’m currently folded up with menstrual cramps on my boyfriend’s couch while the cat licks her butthole next to me.

I have so many half-started (more like eighth-started) posts sitting around, but even though I want to work on them, I can’t bring myself to actually do it.

I used to feel antsy with possibility whenever a new year rolled around, but I think ever since starting my current job about two years ago, I keep finding myself too exhausted to take inventory of my life after the holidays. Or maybe that’s just adulthood. Maybe that’s just what it’s like to be in a relationship, because what’s happening in front of me feels more important than a hypothetical improved version of myself. Maybe I’m done with self-improvement. Or maybe I just need to find a new job.

sam thinking about work

me thinking about going to work

(I do. I’m unhappy at work, and it’s making my anxiety flare up in a way that hasn’t happened in a couple years. Also, I’m underpaid, because my employer sucks.)

(To be clear: I get paid a lot, by most standards, but I’m making at least $15k less than market rate for someone with my experience. I’m not complaining about making too little; I’m complaining about my company being run by a bunch of assholes. They are underpaying everyone whose salary I know.)

Maybe I should set a baby goal. A mini goal, that is. Not a goal for a baby. I know I’m that age now, but I don’t want a baby just yet.

I did talk to a recruiter on Friday, which is good for phone interview practice. But I’m procrastinating on setting up my follow-up phone call, which is painful to think about, mostly because I’m afraid the technical interviewer on the other end is going to discover I’m a fraud and I’m actually incompetent. (Which is my own fear about myself.)

I gotta do it, though. I gotta do it. How else am I supposed to change my situation?

(THANKS, SELF, FOR MAKING ME WRITE THIS BLOG POST. I EMAILED THE RECRUITER BACK. I’M SWEATING.)

Here’s a mini update of other things I’ve been busy with:

  • reading Ready Player One by Ernest Kline (Goodreads | Amazon)
  • and Ratf**ked: The True Story Behind The Secret Plan To Steal America’s Democracy by David Daley (Goodreads | Amazon)
  • and My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante (Goodreads | Amazon)
  • thinking about buying tickets to go see Betty Who in concert
  • trying to avoid buying clothing, shoes, accessories, or makeup for a while
  • doing a backdoor Roth IRA for the first time
  • playing Overcooked with my boyfriend in an attempt to improve our communication, coordination, and teamwork (IT’S SO FUN! And frustrating. But mostly fun!)
  • getting back into Since First I Saw Your Face (it was a WIP and I was stuck waiting for an update for a while) and LIVING for Holmes’ pining
  • hurtin’ to watch the new Jumanji because KAREN GILLAN!!! Her legs make me useless.

Tomorrow, I’m going to the Legion of Honor to see the Klimt/Rodin special exhibit (before I head home to study more practice problems from Cracking the Coding Interview and to sit in dread thinking about going in to work on Monday). It’s been a while since my last trip to a museum and I’m looking forward to being movèd by art again. I think my heart needs it.