lately (05.15.20)

This post contains affiliate links, because I like money, but I s2g I wrote this post before adding the affiliate links and the monetization does not affect my opinions.

samglorious - anothertoast - shein matte oversized double hair clips barrettes

(oversized matte hair clips from SHEIN)

Helllllooooooooo. I’m writing this intro on Thursday night, from the dining room table, where I’m folded up on my chair in cute floral-embroidered sweatpants and an ancient, ratty sweatshirt that may have once belonged to my uncle. The cat is curled up in a softly meeping circle on a nearby chair, snoozing on top of my partner’s sweatshirt, while my partner is at his desk, partially hidden by a piece of cardboard we hung up so I wouldn’t show up in the background of his video calls.

Since my last update, I…

…finished reading all 12 available issues of Fence by C.S. Pacat x Johanna the Mad. It was a TREAT and I’m excited for more!

…finished reading The Princess Trap by Talia Hibbert. It was sexy! It was fun! I love consent!!! This book was written by a pan woman of color, whose writing voice was probably a huge factor in why I wasn’t squicked out by the sexual content, as I sometimes am in M/F romances. (The male love interest is bi, which also helps.)

…finished reading The Future of Feeling: Building Empathy in a Tech-Obsessed World by Kaitlin Ugolik Phillips. I didn’t really like it, but eh. It was largely about VR and how to build empathy into tech, but the author lost me within the first few pages because I have very little interest in listening to someone who thinks politics are a matter of opinion, not morality. When children are being held in cages and hate crimes are on the rise and people are being urged to risk their health to go to work in the middle of the pandemic for the sake of the economy, it is… literally a matter of morality. I just didn’t think the information in this book was particularly insightful, and I was disappointed that it took an entire book to basically say “People want to use VR for sex, but also for therapy” and “We need more diversity in tech.”

…started reading Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik (aka the author of several of my favorite Drarry fics), and it is SO FUCKING GOOD. It’s magical! It’s dark!! It’s feminist!!! I don’t even want to finish reading it because I don’t want the book to end!!!!

…somehow came across and read “unbelievable” by mullethyuck, a Bee Movie AU NCT fic where Mark Lee is introduced as “Mark. Mark Bee.” I truly love fandom.

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lately (04.15.20)

This post contains affiliate links, because I like money, but I s2g I wrote this post before adding the affiliate links and the monetization does not affect my opinions.

anothertoast - samglorious - ya girl is breaking out

im breaking out from lack of sleep but i also rediscovered some sparkly black alligator clips in my hair accessory collection so who’s the real winner here? (it’s not me (it’s digiorno))

I don’t know how to start this post, but in all honesty I’m just gonna bang out words until I’ve covered these past two weeks, not because I particularly feel like it, but because I want to maintain my posting record so far this year. I’d much rather be working on writing the long-form fiction story that I’m hoping will eventually end up novel-length, but here I am, so let’s do this.

Since my last update, I…

…ate a few things that I didn’t actually make myself(!!), including a morning bun, cheesy bread, garlic bread, and an XL combo pizza. Our food choices were definitely motivated by 1) things we couldn’t or didn’t want to make ourselves and 2) things that could be easily reheated for virus-killing purposes.

Honestly, going to the bakery to pick up our online order of pastries was really nerve-wracking, I think because the space was so small. They had tape on the ground to space out customers, but I had to pass way too close to people who were definitely not acting in the best interest of others.

The pizza and garlic bread, we had delivered (yes we tipped high), so that was significantly less nerve-wracking. The place we ordered from has their own delivery drivers (which is good because I HATE the exploitative Uber Eats, Grubhub, PostMates, Seamless etc. business model), and I found out that they use ChowNow, which is basically an online ordering middleman for restaurants that can fulfill their own orders. The restaurant pays ChowNow a subscription fee for using their platform, which has a solid UI. I just think it’s neat and a way more sensible, sustainable approach than what the gig economy offers.

…made a no-knead loaf of bread using this recipe and this recipe Frankenstein’d together (with some tips for doing the 2nd rise overnight in the fridge from here), because we don’t have a Dutch oven but we do have an Instant Pot. We didn’t even have an appropriate container to shape the bread in, so our loaf kind of turned out looking like unsliced biscotti.

babys first quarantine bread - no knead no dutch oven loaf - quarantine baking

baby’s first quarantine bread

It may have looked a little ugly, but it was definitely tasty! I threw in a bunch of rosemary we’d frozen a few months back, and it was really good dipped in olive oil and balsamic vinegar.

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lately (05.16.19)

This post contains affiliate links, because I like money, but I s2g I wrote this post before adding the affiliate links and the monetization does not affect my opinions.

panda express fortune cookie - your zest for life is unparalleled

lmao

Hello, friends.

I’m writing this while curled up on the living room couch with tissues shoved up my nose like nostril tampons. I’m slowly filling a Panda Express takeout bag with snotty tissues, my voice is shot, and my cough is inexplicably both wet and dry. I’ve somehow caught a cold again, which isn’t very sexy of me.

This is going to be another very K-pop filled post, so buckle up.

Since my last life update, I’ve been…

 

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lately (04.09.19)

This post contains affiliate links, because I like money, but I s2g I wrote this post before adding the affiliate links and the monetization does not affect my opinions.

It surprised me to write this, but here is the truth:

In the words of BTS… I’m feeling just fine (fine fine).

In the depths of depression, it never feels like I’m going to return to any kind of sustainable equilibrium. It feels impossible, and pointless to try at all.

But here I am.

Sure, I’m still eyebrows-deep in my obsession with EXO (now with other K-Pop artists in the mix, as well), but this particular fixation’s purpose in my life has evolved. Instead of being pure escapism, a survival mechanism to keep myself from fixating on the futility of existence – instead of being a way to induce positive emotions in my broken brain, it’s now just… soothing, and sometimes exciting. A nice thing to look forward to. Some brain candy to reward myself.

It’s good. It’s sustainable.

Here’s what I’ve been up to lately, in the form of an extremely (ᴇxᴛʀᴇᴍᴇʟʏ) long blog post:

 

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lately (04.09.18)

This post contains affiliate links, because I like money, but I s2g I wrote this post before adding the affiliate links and the monetization does not affect my opinions.

It is Monday, my dudes, and I am

  • putting off washing my hair for yet another day
  • still fucking fuming over the CTO describing “being a speaker at a conference” as “being like the pretty girl at a party… people actually want to talk to you, and they have interesting things to say…” which… NO!!! If being a speaker at a conference were like being the pretty girl at a party, people would be approaching you because they want to FUCK YOU. This happened on Friday during an all-hands engineering meeting, and I basically blacked out after he said it because I was SO. UNBELIEVABLY. FULL OF RAGE.
  • reminding myself I don’t need another pair of Tevas despite how goddamn GOOD this pattern is

Teva Women's Original Universal Sandal Campo Black & White Stripe Straps Pattern

Teva Original Universal Sandal in Campo Black & White, $49.99 at DSW

  • trying to figure out how to dress around the newly-updated office dress code (a la r/MaliciousCompliance)
  • thinking really hard about cabinet/dresser knobs and pulls (mirrored! or gold mercury glass! or silver mercury glass! or mother of pearl! or lucite!)
  • wondering who the fuck removed me from the calendar invite for today’s mandatory company-wide all-hands meeting, which I was 35 minutes(!!!) late for because I wasn’t fucking invited to it
  • thinking about acquiring some hella extra candlesticks

H&M metal candlestick in gold - simple bowl shaped candle holder

Metal Candlestick in Gold, $12.99 at H&M

So simple! So elegant! And it comes in two heights! Which is unfortunate because I’d want to get one of each so I could stagger them for the #aesthetic!

H&M Gold Palm Tree Candle Holder - Candlestick

Palm Tree Candle Holder in Gold, $24.99 at H&M

This candlestick!!! Is goddamn!!! INCREDIBLE!!! But it’s also $24.99, which is an absurd amount of money to spend on a candlestick that wasn’t previously owned by an 18th-century noble.

  • trying to move all my money from Betterment to Vanguard
  • trying to figure out if I need a raise, a vacation, a new job, or a career change (jk I know neither a raise nor a vacation would help for more than a couple days, and tbh I’m starting to suspect that even a new job wouldn’t help for more than a couple weeks)
  • absolutely not buying this bath mat

ivory and black tiger shag bath mat - cost plus world market - black and white tiger stripe rug

Ivory And Black Tiger Shag Bath Mat, $16.99 at Cost Plus World Market

JUST KIDDING! I totally might buy this bath mat.

  • struggling with questions #27 and #28 on LeetCode and wanting to cry from frustration because lmao i fucking hate this!!!
  • reading YA novels (Blue Lily, Lily Blue) and rereading Drarry fanfiction (What We Pretend We Can’t See) in an attempt to right the sinking ship that is my brain before I fucking capsize because I can feel a breakdown coming!!!
  • blogging in an attempt to soothe the withered husk that is my creative spirit!!!

In short, S. O. fucking. S. Here’s to making it to the next paycheck. 🍻