lately (07.15.20)

This post contains affiliate links, because I like money, but I s2g I wrote this post before adding the affiliate links and the monetization does not affect my opinions.

Heya. Since my last update, I…

…was informed that our landlords are selling the house we live in (we live on the top floor; they live below us). lol.

If we decide to stay put, the current owners can’t evict us, but the new owners potentially could. We might also have to deal with people coming in to view the unit while we’re still living here, which is less than ideal at the best of times, and it is certainly not the best of times.

If we decide to move, the owners have graciously offered to put off the house sale for a few weeks so we can get out before they start showing it (although we assume their main motivation for suggesting we leave is because it’s easier to sell a house without existing tenants).

We’ve looked at a couple places already, both in and out of the city (and frankly, I would never have considered living outside the city if we weren’t in the middle of a pandemic). Prices are indeed slightly better than they were a few years ago, but (insert endless screaming)!

So that’s first and foremost on my mind!!!!!!!!!

Aside from that, since my last update, I…

…received and started working on my 1000-piece Suho Self-Portrait puzzle! I pre-ordered this back in early May, and I was very excited when it finally arrived because it’s SO pretty.

exo suho self portrait solo album puzzle - smglobalshop

It comes with what I think is a little packet of glue and a glue applicator for the completed puzzle.

This is my first time doing a puzzle with my partner, and it’s just as meditative as I remember it being when I was little.

exo suho self portrait solo album puzzle - smglobalshop - wip

an early progress shot, when we were still picking out all the edge pieces

exo suho self portrait solo album puzzle - smglobalshop - in progress - borders edges eyes

left: the completed border, with some progress on one of the portraits. right: pieces with bits of eyeballs and lips (lol).

Unfortunately, I keep getting really bad tension headaches from hunching over when I’m puzzling, so I have to work on it in very short bursts. A disappointing reminder that I’m not getting any younger!!

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lately (06.15.20)

This post contains affiliate links, because I like money, but I s2g I wrote this post before adding the affiliate links and the monetization does not affect my opinions.

Just wanna preface this post by saying that if you haven’t yet contacted your local officials about defunding your local police department (and diverting those funds which would’ve been used for, like, weapons and armored tanks (and other, less visibly egregious expenses), toward social services like, for example, mental health and substance abuse treatment/interventions), this website might be useful for you. (Are you in the Campaign Zero/#8CantWait camp and think police departments should be reformed instead of abolished? That hasn’t worked in the past, so here are some alternative ways to frame the issue.)

(Also, I feel like I don’t plug Ear Hustle enough, so here’s my plug: Do yourself a favor and learn a little about life inside prison (and life post-incarceration) so you can start forming your own opinions about the prison industrial complex. Listen to Ear Hustle.)

Alright, so. Since my last update, I…

…received a bunch of EXO group order stuff:

exo group order go kpop merch - baekhyun slogan - delight albums cinnamon mint honey versions - suho junmyeon self portrait album - chanyeol washi tape memo stickers

Albums! Stickers! Washi tape! A slogan!

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lately (05.31.20)

This post contains affiliate links, because I like money, but I s2g I wrote this post before adding the affiliate links and the monetization does not affect my opinions.

Hello! If you support the Black Lives Matter movement but haven’t taken any action other than, like, liking or retweeting some posts (or staying silent and slowly feeling guilt creep over you) have you considered!!!

  • signing some petitions! (this is as close to a ZERO COMMITMENT action as you can get! enticing, eh??? alleviate some of your privileged guilt. sign some petitions.)
  • donating some money! (i mean obviously take care of yourself first but MONEY TALKS!!! it’s also a great way to reduce some of that guilt!!! i assure you that the protestor bail funds do not care if you donate out of guilt!!!)
  • talking to your family! (there’s a good chance you already have likeminded friends, but if you’re on decent terms with your family members and they still think these protests are an overreaction or that the police system isn’t inherently racist, try talking to them!! u gotta go slow cuz well honestly as good as it feels to just rage, you’re probably not gonna persuade anyone like that. go slow. do the work. it’s your responsibility as a white or non-Black poc right now and always(!) to do this work in your own communities.)
  • doing some educational reading or viewing!
  • [EDIT: If you’d like to help financially but don’t have the means, some YouTube creators have put out videos specifically to generate ad revenue that will be donated to various support organizations. I shared them with my younger cousin thinking she might be interested since it’s not like she has much money to contribute or permission (or transportation) to attend a protest, and she was really excited to have something she personally could do to help, even in a small way. Maybe you’ve got a teen in your life who’s feeling helpless and frustrated, too. I’m linking to tweets about the videos because they include streaming instructions (like disabling any adblockers, etc.) to make sure your views will count for ad revenue: one & two & thread]
  • [EDIT: donate via app downloads & donate via Sephora points]

(Please note that several of the organizations in the links are not specific to reducing police brutality or dismantling the police system, but they are all parts of the effort to dismantle institutional and systemic white supremacy, of which policing is a deeply entrenched and violent part.)

Many others have put together lists of actions you can take and resources you can consult, so go find ’em. You’ve got Google, and I’m not an expert. You don’t have to be either. But please. Do something. DO SOMETHING.

I know people worry about the balance between performative social media and actual action, but don’t stay fucking silent. It’s not purely performative if you back up your voice with AN ACTION. ANY ACTION. TAKE ONE FUCKING ACTION.

In the words of Richard Rothstein, author of The Color of Law: A Forgotten History of How Our Government Segregated America,

“When we become Americans, we accept not only citizenship’s privileges that we did not earn but also its responsibilities to correct wrongs that we did not commit.”

Let’s try to make things right.

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lately (05.15.20)

This post contains affiliate links, because I like money, but I s2g I wrote this post before adding the affiliate links and the monetization does not affect my opinions.

samglorious - anothertoast - shein matte oversized double hair clips barrettes

(oversized matte hair clips from SHEIN)

Helllllooooooooo. I’m writing this intro on Thursday night, from the dining room table, where I’m folded up on my chair in cute floral-embroidered sweatpants and an ancient, ratty sweatshirt that may have once belonged to my uncle. The cat is curled up in a softly meeping circle on a nearby chair, snoozing on top of my partner’s sweatshirt, while my partner is at his desk, partially hidden by a piece of cardboard we hung up so I wouldn’t show up in the background of his video calls.

Since my last update, I…

…finished reading all 12 available issues of Fence by C.S. Pacat x Johanna the Mad. It was a TREAT and I’m excited for more!

…finished reading The Princess Trap by Talia Hibbert. It was sexy! It was fun! I love consent!!! This book was written by a pan woman of color, whose writing voice was probably a huge factor in why I wasn’t squicked out by the sexual content, as I sometimes am in M/F romances. (The male love interest is bi, which also helps.)

…finished reading The Future of Feeling: Building Empathy in a Tech-Obsessed World by Kaitlin Ugolik Phillips. I didn’t really like it, but eh. It was largely about VR and how to build empathy into tech, but the author lost me within the first few pages because I have very little interest in listening to someone who thinks politics are a matter of opinion, not morality. When children are being held in cages and hate crimes are on the rise and people are being urged to risk their health to go to work in the middle of the pandemic for the sake of the economy, it is… literally a matter of morality. I just didn’t think the information in this book was particularly insightful, and I was disappointed that it took an entire book to basically say “People want to use VR for sex, but also for therapy” and “We need more diversity in tech.”

…started reading Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik (aka the author of several of my favorite Drarry fics), and it is SO FUCKING GOOD. It’s magical! It’s dark!! It’s feminist!!! I don’t even want to finish reading it because I don’t want the book to end!!!!

…somehow came across and read “unbelievable” by mullethyuck, a Bee Movie AU NCT fic where Mark Lee is introduced as “Mark. Mark Bee.” I truly love fandom.

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lately (02.14.20)

This post contains affiliate links, because I like money, but I s2g I wrote this post before adding the affiliate links and the monetization does not affect my opinions.

I originally started this post with a recap of the SuperM concert, but I’ve already hit 2000 words and I’m not done yet, so I’ll be putting my concert recap into its own post. Aside from attending the SuperM concert in San Jose, since my last life update, I…

…finally added a collapsing archive to my sidebar. I’m using the Expanding Archives plugin, and while I wish it were as lightweight as the old collapsing archives that I had when I was on Blogger back in the day, it gets the job done.

…ate a Samanco fish-shaped ice cream waffle sandwich for the first time. It basically looks like taiyaki but is filled with ice cream instead of red bean! And it’s DELICIOUS!! The ice cream filling has this slightly crisp(?) texture (compared to your typical ice cream sandwich), which I really enjoyed. (After reading the name of the brand, my partner asked me “Is that your company?” -_-)

…read Reflection: A Twisted Tale by Elizabeth Lim. This version of Mulan begins with the snowy mountain scene from the animated Disney movie and turns into a journey through the Underworld to save Captain Shang’s spirit. Mulan’s character is awesome and strikes all my favorite notes about bringing your family honor and trying to be true to yourself and feeling confined by gender expectations. Also Shang does his usual thing and… acts like a whole bi baby when he realizes this dude in his regiment is actually a chick and has an internal crisis over why he was so fond of Ping. (I mean, not explicitly, but honestly what else would be going on in his head?)

…received my group order for this adorable fuzzy baseball cap with bear ears (a la Jongin’s Instagram Live) and these tiny little EXO motto/slogan patches (“사랑하자” translates to “Let’s love”; one is iron-on and the other is sew-on)

exo kai bear hat - exo motto slogan saranghaja lets love patch sew on iron on

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this is progress.

This post contains affiliate links, because I like money, but I s2g I wrote this post before adding the affiliate links and the monetization does not affect my opinions.

airplane safety placard infant water flotation device lifevest

a pictorial dumpling recipe

Henlo, friends.

I’m writing this post with my feet propped up on a chair at the dining room table while I wait for the Chinese herbal tea simmering in the kitchen to reach its full potency. My runny nose and I are working our way through a box of tissues, the cat is using the living room as her personal racetrack while she yells continuously (a Big Mood™), and my partner is perched on the Korean War-era military footlocker trunk we use as a coffee table, playing Grand Theft Auto V.

Last week I was in New York City for only the second time in my life, tagging along on my partner’s business trip. It was equal parts enthralling and exhausting to wander around Manhattan by myself, and by the fourth day, I was completely wiped out, partially because I’d spent the entire day prior wandering the Met until my soul was replenished and my feet were blistered, but mostly because my partner was working normal business hours, and it was damn tiring to be out and about and always watching my own stuff, my own drinks, my own back, always aware of how much time was left until sunset when I should stop being visibly alone in public. I admire women who travel solo. I don’t know how they do it.

But even though I spent the latter half of the trip Netflix-and-despairing in our hotel room (mainlining Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and short circuiting over the steaming pile of shit that is Brett Kavanaugh), I loved NYC in a way I haven’t ever loved anywhere but San Francisco – in a way that made me feel like I’d enjoy living there.

anal street - canal street subway - new york city mta

(insert “nyc i’m in you” joke)

(wow that was an unintended triple(?) entendre)

Granted, I haven’t traveled all that much, so there are probably plenty of diverse cities with solid public transportation systems that I’d enjoy spending my prime childbearing years in. London seems promising, for one.

But I don’t think I’d ever actually go through with it, not for anything less than the death of the people I love most and a disgustingly lucrative job.

Every few days (or hours), I regret quitting, but I’m trying to remind myself how unequivocally awful it was to work at my previous company. Reading the wall of one-star reviews (including my own) on their Glassdoor page helps. So does repeating the words of men I’ve worked with – words like “I’m sorry” and “As I’ve heard more of the stuff that you had to deal with, I’m more and more surprised you stayed as long as you did.”

I’m trying to remind myself that my emotions make sense. That my response was a reasonable one, and that I’ll eventually be okay, somehow. That my most important task right now is trying to not feel guilty or useless or like a waste of space. Or a human leech. Or a liability.

I’m trying, and sometimes it doesn’t work particularly well. (Especially not lately. It feels immorally self-indulgent to be contemplating my career when this country is hurtling back into the 1800s and this planet is hurtling toward total catastrophe.)

So to help myself, here’s a partial list of things I’ve done over the past month-ish that have made me feel like a productive human:

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